|It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you can sit with pain
I want to know if you can be with joy
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
I want to know if you can see Beauty
I want to know if you can live with failure
It doesn’t interest me
It doesn’t interest me who you know
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
I want to know if you can be alone
This is my desire – more and more I allow myself into the door of that invitation. Scary, at times. Yet feeling a deep sense of joy for opening the door.
Here we are, just days away from Easter, and I’ve been continually reminded that I haven’t written in days. I’ve been tired – physically, emotionally, spiritually – since returning from our spring break vacation. I’d become sluggish in my body and mind, not feeling like doing much of anything and no thoughtful words coming to my mind to write about. On one hand, I acknowledged that feeling and allowed myself the freedom from my Lenten intention to write something everyday, yet I have to admit that it came with a slight bit of judgement. However, when the well is dry…what is one to do except rest and allow yourself to be filled?
Then, in a dream last night I saw myself as being without legs. Analyzing this in the morning, I likened it to a feeling of not progressing forward, without the feet and strong musculature to carry me in continued growth. A friend suggested rather, that it might be about losing my “groundedness”. Hmmm.
Being reminded recently in an Oprah’s Next Chapter show about the strong benefits of Transcendental Meditation (or any, really) – just 20 minutes twice a day, I decided, yes, it was time to gain my legs back. Let’s start in meditation. I set my alarm for 20 minutes, settled myself facing the rising sun, consciously breathing in peace. The birds chirped in sweet song, singing back and forth to one another, as the cars raced by on the street in front of me. I was interrupted once by the recycling truck, and alarmed I’d miss him yet another week, I had to dart out with our overflowing bin. But I easily settled myself back down into simple, refreshing breath listening to birdsong and the throng of cars. Isn’t this just like life, I thought? The constant barrage of life, the rabbit wheel that we can’t ignore (nor, in cases like family and friends would we want to) but then we can consciously settle back down into peace.
I followed this by a brisk walk in the park with a friend of mine, a shower (which embarrassingly is something that doesn’t always occur on a daily basis because of “time”!), thirty minutes to attend to another long forgotten spiritual practice, drawing a daily mandala, then out the door to lunch and help an older gentleman in picking out outdoor furniture. The sun was just beginning to set as I arrived home, so I settled myself into a comfortable lounge chair facing west and our woods, this time the birdsong uninterrupted. My mantra, “I am filled with love, peace and acceptance.”
What a beautiful day. Attending to everything – with *enough time*- that was important to me. Is it because I woke up and alerted myself back to this discipline of listening in and attending to my spiritual needs? Maybe. Possibly. I’m willing to put it back into action to find out! Some of the documented benefits of meditation include: a significantly lower stess level, improved sleep, lowered blood pressure, clearer thinking, improved immune system functioning, improved skin condition, relief from pain, and improved creativity. What an incredible list – why wouldn’t we all get on the band wagon, right? It’s reported that most people that regularly meditate, though, do so not for it’s health benefits, but for the deep inner peace it bestows.
Isn’t that an ahhhh feeling? This feeling that has me on my best “high”, full of gratitude with that inner laid-back feeling is enough reason to push me back into this same practice in the morning.
Regrow those spiritual legs!