All day, my eyes have been open. In fact, since I began writing daily in this discipline, it’s been the main thing that I’ve appreciated. How much it forces me to be aware of my world, constantly alert for tidbits that I might expound upon here.
Until….it just doesn’t come. The white glare of the computer is an accusation of my emptiness. Surely, there’s something you can say! It doesn’t have to be an essay! Write something short, try your hand at a poem, think of something as ordinary as sliding on that favorite pair of pants that no longer fit (given that scenario today) and make it interesting or valuable.
“You’re not very creative…..nor disciplined. You knew you couldn’t do this, write something everyday for 40 days! Pffft. You haven’t even made it halfway.”
I open the book my mentor gave me for Lent, “Quantum Grace,” by Judy Cannato and the day’s lesson is on “compassion”. HA! Great timing. Why is it that I’ll forgive everyone, even the murderous stories I hear on the news if I’m given enough of a sappy story to start leaking empathetic tears of understanding. Yet, I get all over my case for lacking creative vision for a day.
The snake brain. The internal critic. The ongoing committee of your mind. Baggage. Stinking thinking. The Critical Parent. Call it whatever you want – we all got it.
It will *never* disappear if we keep thinking that it has some valuable role in our lives to keep us on track, prevent us from making mistakes, guide us in our decisions, advise us of our flaws; in short, that it is well informed and beneficial, worthy of being listened to and followed. Who needs a friend like this? Wouldn’t you rather drop kick him to the curb?
One of the readings today in Quantum Grace is Luke 6: 36-38, a short lesson on keeping healthy relationships with others, however I’d suggest that it’s just as vital, if not moreso, to keep a flourishing relationship with your soul. Be compassionate. Don’t judge or condemn. Give…in the same measure you give to others.
Just as our minds have the ability to be sabbotaging and critical – it has the equal ability to be uplifting, forgiving, and loving. If that voice were to say, “I believe in you. Don’t get discouraged over ONE day” wouldn’t it be the boost to get some creative juices running for the following day? At least in better proportion to the backhand across the face!
I choose love. Forgiveness. Compassion.
And a bitch slap to the snake brain before I drop kick him to the curb.