I’ve just come home from the third church I’ve now visited since “leaving” my own in January. What an incredibly UPLIFTING experience! I visited The Center for Spiritual Living, (www.cslstl.org) hearing both their Rev. Marigene DeRusha, and their musicians for today, though I didn’t catch their names, two guitarists using original music, full of a soulful jazzy sound. I would have loved to have left with a recording of their music or a copy of their lyrics, they were so appropo for my current journey. Marigene has to be one of the most enthusiastic, empowering, real speakers I’ve heard in a long time; she could be a motivational speaker! I happened to be early and met her in the hallway. Introducing myself, I offered my hand which she ignored and gave me a giant hug. She’s just that kind of person. 🙂 The service began informally with their associate minister (her husband?) Rev. Larry DeRusha, speaking to the congregants, openly asking questions to those in the seats and welcoming me as a visitor. It was a very natural, homey feeling as if I was sitting in their living room rather than in a sanctuary! The Center for Spiritual Living is based on “The Science of the Mind”, which originated by Earnest Holmes in 1927, which honestly, for those of us coming from such a strong traditional Christian background, it suggested something cult-ish, or reminiscent of Scientology news stories of Tom Cruise’s weird or rude behavior, or perhaps even irreverrant in the (da-da da-dummmm) The Power of the Human Mind.
It wasn’t any of those things. Its basic message is that we were born of a Divine Perfection and it’s not until our humanness gets in the way to cover up that Divine Light with the inner chatter of imperfection that we become “less than”. Doubt, fear, or the messages we’re brought up with block us and say we CANNOT. It’s echoing what I wrote about on Feb 25th here, “Create in Me”, when I said that I believe we are born GOOD (not the message from the pews that says we are “born of a fallen humanity”, making us sinful beings) and the added message of not only GOOD, but with Divine Light and perfection. Indeed, we are born in His image. Is the Creator not perfection? My humanness recoils from that word. Perfection. “No one’s perfect.” “We don’t strive for perfection, but progress.” It feels uncomfortable to suggest we are “perfect” beneath the human chatter of negativity. Yet, if we are born in His image, spiritual beings first living a human life, why is that so hard a concept to accept? It brings to mind for me a favorite quote by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
….to make manifest the glory of God. In ALL of us, not just some. Not just the creative, intelligent, the least sinful, or most repentative. That’s always been an uplifting quote for me, but perhaps it’s so intriguing because I don’t internally believe it. My humanness — my disbelief– keeps me stuck beneath that glass ceiling. Incidentally, Marianne Williamson is coming to St Louis in mid June, offering a full day workshop. Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.
Help me, Divine Spirit, to believe. Believe that I am destined for Greatness. Wipe away my doubt, my fear that says this is all there is. Remove my glass ceiling. Help me to see my Divine Nature to use my gifts for this world.